Last Thursday morning (26), the digital influencer Patricia Pontes, 37, brought public complaints of domestic violence filed against her ex-husband, basketball player Murilo Becker. She revealed to have suffered, on the last Father’s Day, bodily injuries due to the athlete’s violent behavior, who directed punches and kicks to her.
In the police report to which universe had access, Patricia reports that Murilo was arriving from a trip with his children when she was asked about the delay in bringing the children back. The influencer would also have complained about the presence of her current girlfriend in the vehicle, as this would go against one of the agreements between them. After the conversation, Patricia told police that she was called names and that her ex-husband threw a sneaker in her face.
In the complaint, she claims that she tried to film what happened, but Murilo threw one of her children’s walkers on the ground with force, grabbed the cell phone that was in her hand and punched him twice in the mouth. After the second punch, she would have fallen to the ground and he would have continued the aggression through kicks to the body. According to the document, the attacks only subsided after her 14-year-old daughter asked her former stepfather to stop.
In the report, Patricia informed that she had to be taken to the hospital due to the seriousness of the aggressions. She also reported having undergone dental surgery in order to have a bone graft, in an attempt to preserve one of her teeth and a significant part of the maxillary bone, which were weakened and could be lost.
In the following interview, she gives details about her past with her ex-husband:
Many women do not leave abusive relationships due to financial as well as emotional dependence. Was it your case? I loved and totally depended on him. I never worked after I got married because he earned enough for me to stay home and take care of our kids. He paid the babysitter.
I knew that if I made the decision to separate, he would keep his promise to leave me penniless. And he did. From the day I announced the breakup, he took my card, money, everything.
My father helped, friends too and so I survived. It took two months to settle the pension issue.
When did you manage to break up the relationship?
That’s when I realized the betrayals didn’t stop. He called me to go to Salvador, with the intention of restarting our family after a betrayal in Rio de Janeiro. He said that everything would be different, that he wasn’t going to do that anymore. Promised a thousand loves. I dropped all the children’s therapies here, which is not easy. It’s hard to find a clinic that accepts the four of them, because they never have time available. But I accepted starting over and taking his side. And three months later he cheated on me again.
In one of your Instagram posts, you talk about wondering if you’re doing the right thing by opening up this information to the public. Why?
When I told, I thought I would be hugged. And then I saw a lot of women strafing me, saying that I wanted to be an idiot, to be an influencer — and I already work with that. Of course everyone wants to grow up, but I never wanted to grow up in that situation.
I was ashamed to think that the perfect mother on the internet, the one who can handle everything, who tidies up, cleans the house, takes care of the children alone, who is a single mother and who gave up everything was beaten. And he was beaten in front of his children.
It was a shame I went through. All to come up with a woman and say: “Oh, but you have to see how much she didn’t do for this ex, for him to have done that”. I didn’t believe there were women like that, so I wondered if I was right to expose. But at the same time, it was good. I just got a message from a friend in Bauru saying: “Every time you told me he attacked you I said ‘Look at your family, you have a beautiful family’. Me forgive me for encouraging you to come back.” Back then, I only told my close friends and my mother.
Was this the first time the protective measure was disrespected?
I’ve had another protective measure before. However, Murilo said that if I kept the measure valid, he would stop paying for the children’s treatments and would take away the house I live in, since it is in his name and we got married with total separation of property.
With this blackmail, I accepted the withdrawal and we agreed that he would never touch me again. This actually happened, not least because I started a relationship and my ex-boyfriend was an ex-cop. However, for some time now, I have been threatened again and asked for the measure again. Ten days after announcing my breakup on social media, he hit me.
Women who have suffered domestic violence can develop disorders and trauma. do you feel something from type?
Today nowadays, after everything that has happened, I do psychological counseling and take medication for anxiety.
What was your life like when you got pregnant with quadruplets?
Before their arrival, I was already a mother. I had my first child at age 23, from an old relationship, which ended 11 months after her birth. From then on, I was a solo mother for five years, until I met Murilo. We had been together for less than a year when I decided to take the treatment to get pregnant, as he couldn’t be a father naturally due to a vascular disease.
Was this beginning of a relationship intense?
It was love at first sight. I saw you and do you know when you idealize someone? It was the man I wanted to marry. The day we met, he hooked up with another girl. But we didn’t lose contact and the following week we stayed. He asked me to go to a movie and from there we went to my house. We stayed the next day and the next. When we realized, we no longer let go and we had this idea of living together with two months of relationship. At seven months, I underwent in vitro fertilization.
How did you receive the news that you would be parents of quadruplets?
I gradually learned. On the day I took the test to find out if the fertilization had worked, his team was celebrating the victory in the São Paulo championship. We lived in Bauru, in the interior of São Paulo, which is a city in love with basketball. Just before joining the sea of people partying, I received the news that I would be the mother of twins.
A short time later, during an ultrasound, I learned that they would be triplets. It wasn’t long before I needed to be hospitalized and bed rested because of a bleed. This time, we found the room. There my blood pressure dropped, I cried, I thought I was going to die. But the pregnancy followed and I gave birth at exactly 30 weeks.
When did you hear about the four of them cerebral palsy?
I left the hospital with the doctors saying that the birth had been a success. But at 2 years old they didn’t walk. Some doctors said it could be due to prematurity, but I already knew it wasn’t. I started a treatment at the AACD and, after many comings and goings, they closed this diagnosis. In this, my children were two and a half years old. Today, at age 7, only one of them walks. Two are wheelchair users and wear diapers. For them, it is necessary to put the food in their mouths, to help all day long.
At what point, after their birth, did you notice that something in your marriage was not going well?
When he was ten months old, Gabriel had meningitis. There we had a disagreement and the first aggression happened, which was a slap, with him in my lap. Later, when they were a year and a half, it happened again: he tore a dress he was wearing out of jealousy. The third assault came when I found out he was cheating on me.
At that time, I started therapy because I envisioned a family that would go on forever. I had no idea that I could take care of my children without his presence. I have nothing to talk about Murilo as a father when we were married. When he was absent, it was because of work. At home, he always took care of them. After the separation, he stopped making a point of seeing them.
Brazil is a country with a high rate of femicide. Did you ever fear for your life?
I just thought I was going to die this last time. Only in this last aggression did I feel that he is capable of killing me.
universe he tried to contact Murilo Becker through social networks, but he didn’t get a return until the end of this report. We also sent a message to the National Basketball League’s office asking for the contact of the former player, but we didn’t get an answer.
How to report domestic violence
In cases of domestic violence, that is, when someone is witnessing this type of aggression, the Military Police must be called by telephone 190.
Ligue 180 is the channel created for women who are experiencing situations of violence. The Women’s Service Center operates throughout the country and abroad, 24 hours a day. The call is free. Ligue 180 receives complaints, provides expert guidance and referrals to protection services and psychological assistance. It is also possible to activate this service through WhatsApp. In this case, the phone is (61) 99656-5008.
Crimes of domestic violence can be registered at any police station if there is no Women’s Police station close to the victim. In cases of risk to the life of the woman or her family members, a protective measure can be requested by the police chief, at the time of registration of the occurrence, or directly to the court by the victim or her lawyer.
The victim can also seek support at the Women’s Assistance Centers in Public Defenders, Social Assistance Reference Centers, Health Assistance Reference Centers or the Brazilian Women’s Houses. The unit closest to the victim can be located on each state’s government website.