when the woman is the ‘man’ in bed

During the consultation, the proctologist tells the patient:

– Hmmm, I can see a little vein popping out here in the entrance of your anus…

– Intro, NO!!, doctor. Here there’s only a little left!!

It’s an anecdote, of course, but it illustrates very well how the anal region is forbidden territory and, for the vast majority of heterosexual men, untouchable.

Ground wire, Greek kiss are almost just words and refer, most of the time, to the practice of others. Anal stimulation in the male partner is reserved for the secret intimacy of couples and kept under lock and key.

However, something seems to be changing here under the equator – since, as the song says, in these lands where the thrush sings there is no sin… Today you can read articles on the subject on the internet, even on the website of Jairus Bouer.

It seems that the door to male secrets is slowly opening… (Oops!)

But, after all, what is pegging?

pegging it is when a woman uses a sex toy – consisting of an artificial penis tied to straps that allow it to be attached to the body (“strap-on”) – and penetrates her partner anally.

This is an exchange of roles, needless to say. But what attraction does this have on people? Kimberley McBride, PhD and Associate Professor of Public Health at the University of Toledo, spoke to the Women’s Health website about this.

According to traditional gender roles, the woman is considered the receiving partner, while the man is the insertion partner. (As tradition changes over time, nowadays it is not difficult to see the woman referred to as a “vagina bearer” and a man as a “penis bearer.)

At the pegging, changing the script can appeal to those who find it erotic to break social norms, says McBride. But who knows, maybe that’s not the only reason…

One of them may be the prostate, for many, the male “G-spot”. The size of a walnut, it lies between the base of the man’s penis and rectum. When stimulated by the insertion of the penis (natural or artificial), together with the nerve endings in the anus and rectum, it can lead to an eruption of orgasms. According to McBride, they can be perceived as more intense…

On the other hand, Joe Kort, PhD, a certified sex therapist in Royal Oak, Michigan, consulted on the site, says that for many women, the experience can be very pleasurable, thanks to the clitoral stimulation that sex toy provides during sex.

However, one cannot forget the great role the mind plays during any sexual practice in reaching the climax. So, in the pegging, many women can get turned on by the idea and act of being dominant, or in other words, feeling alpha in front of a man as he penetrates him, says Kort.

“Boiolice”? Discussing homohysteria in heterosexual men

A study published in the journal sexualities examines the practice and perception of anal receptive eroticism among 170 heterosexual male undergraduates at a US university. Therefore, it analyzes the social stigmas on these men’s anal pleasure through the concept of homohysteria, which describes a cultural myth that gender transgression casts homosexual suspicion on heterosexual men. For male anal eroticism, this means that only gay or gender deviant men can enjoy anal pleasure.

However, the authors suggest that the decline in homohysteria has begun to erode this cultural “ban” on anal stimulation in heterosexual men. The data refer to college-age heterosexual men, who identify themselves by questioning cultural narratives that confuse anal receptivity with homosexuality. Of those interviewed, 24% received anal pleasure at least once.

The results suggest that cultural taboos around men’s anal pleasure may be shifting for younger men and the boundaries of heterosexual identity may be expanding. However, the researchers say, more research is needed to clarify how anal erotic norms are changing among men of different racial, geographic, socioeconomic and demographic age groups, and to determine how these changes can promote more pluralistic and inclusive views of gender and sexuality.

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If you feel like it, why not?

More and more people are talking about the right to one’s own body and the pleasures it can provide. It is a movement of liberation and empowerment of each one, beyond and above conventions. The important thing is to understand your desire, as long as it does not harm you or others.

So, if you are a “vagina carrier” or a “penis carrier”, you’ve already been thinking about it and found that brief scene from “Deadpool”, in which the partner practices pegging with him, inspiring, check out these tips.

1. Chatting is essential

You can’t imagine two people about to engage in sexual activity going vapt-vupt to the pegging. Even in paid sex situations, a prior arrangement is required. Even in meetings resulting from making out apps, this arrangement was made with some conversations before, even if online.

When it comes to an already existing relationship, the process needs maturing and conversations. Unfortunately, there is no ready-made recipe for this, as each case is different.

If either party is unsure of the other’s reaction, one suggestion is to hypothetically present the idea and look at the reaction to see if there is interest. As McBride suggests, you can say that you were talking to a friend about it, or that you read an article about it.

2. The idea can be rejected

And if it is, that’s fine. But that doesn’t mean the conversation needs to stop there. As Kort suggests, one can talk about different ways to simulate non-penetrative anal sex, for example.

But above all, it is equally important to respect each other’s sexual limits. If one of the parties is really not interested, there is no point in pushing. However, McBride is insistent and says there is always the possibility of reintroducing the subject at another time.

3. Take the stereotypes to heart

Okay, bossing around these days is totally “cringe”, but that’s the idea. The important thing is to keep this maxim in mind: “Anal sex is not about sexual orientation. It’s about sexual pleasure.”

Let go of any notions about your or the other party’s sexuality that might pop into your head and get in the way of your fun. If your concerns really matter, it’s the case, as always, of an open and frank conversation about it.

4. Slowly, slowly…

As the tissue of the anus and rectum are more fragile, it can be injured during penetration, it is important to ensure both parts are comfortable (physically or not). Investing in foreplay is an idea. Oral or manual stimulation, then penetration with a finger or a smaller object (such as a small butt plug) to better accustom the receiving partner to the sensations and help him learn to relax the muscles in that area.

5. Is it clean?

After doing “number two”, number one is cleaning. Wash the area and surroundings with warm, soapy water. Avoid astringent products as they can dry out the region, making it more vulnerable to STIs.

The same goes for the sex toys that participated in the pegging: warm water and mild soap. A tip is to cover the dildo with a condom to make cleaning easier. Avoid those made of porous materials, which can harbor bacteria.

6. Always lubricate

The anus does not have a natural lubrication, so it is necessary to properly lubricate the sex toy that will be inserted. The most suitable are those based on water.

This column does not necessarily reflect the opinion of the Website Doutor Jairo.

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