A courageous and inspiring testimony… During her participation in the podcast “Calcinha Larga”, by Tati Bernardi, Camila Fremder and Helen Ramos, actress Fabiula Nascimento opened her heart about the history of domestic violence that she and her family lived because of her father. In the chat, released on September 8, the artist revealed how she faces this chapter of her life today, and praised her mother Marinha Peixer for having taught her to protect herself from any kind of abusive relationship.
The conversation started right at this point, after Tati Bernardi explained that he didn’t find much information about Fabiula’s family to produce the script for the episode. It was then that the actress began to talk about everything she experienced. “My mother is a person who had very few opportunities in life. She suffered a lot, in relationship, in life and at home. It wasn’t an easy life. But she’s a woman who keeps a joy like that, so potent”, said Nascimento.
“The best teaching she ever taught me was to be happy to be alive and not be the woman she was. Submissive, she swallowed violence. I looked here and thought I didn’t want to be that woman. That was the biggest teaching my mom ever gave me. She prepared me for a life where I would never go through this. So that I would immediately identify violent people and not let them cross my path. So she gave me life. It’s my love. She is an extremely loving person and it hasn’t hardened, you know?”, declared.
Then, Fabiula Nascimento explained that the main problem was linked to the violence suffered at home with her father, and that, until then, she had preferred not to expose any of this, even as a way of “protecting him”. “In relation to fatherhood, I don’t really talk. Because it wasn’t cool. Guys, I never talked about it. But it’s something I’ve always wanted to talk about. I think, nowadays, because he’s alive and because violence has already prescribed, with the internet world we live in and this bad thing that it also brings about free hate, I don’t ever want him to suffer any kind of violence writing or someone looking at it and saying, ‘Oh, you know this guy.’ It doesn’t matter anymore”, said.
The actress, who is pregnant with twins, made a point of explaining that it was not about “mopping up” or minimizing what happened, but within her personal evolution process, it no longer made sense to bring this up in an aggressive way. “It’s been years of working forgiveness and wishing the best things for this man, so he can go on and be well. It has always been my spiritual work in life. I don’t do conventional therapy, I’m in holistic therapy, for at least 8 years”, highlighted.
“I’ve been working on this. Today, I have him in a very careful place in my heart, you know? I hugged that child, because he was also a child, right? He also went through difficulties. And we follow. But I don’t live together and I have no intention of living together”, clarified.
In the chat, the actress and the presenters entered into a deeper reflection about the machismo in society, and how her father’s attitudes are also the result of the perpetuation of this culture through the generations. “You can’t give what you don’t have, man. [Ele teve] Several brothers, understand? Each one has a life and a story. We come here to live and learn these things. As a daughter and as a nice person I live in this place today. When someone says that I should tell my story of domestic violence, I think it won’t make sense for me to talk today. I can talk about that experience, but I don’t need to name this man”, evaluated.
The discussion also defended that the victim of any type of trauma or something similar has the autonomy to decide if he wants to “touch the wounds”. “There is a time too. Suddenly, 30 years from now I want to talk about it, I want to make a play that has something related. To be present and help people [que viveram algo parecido], we are always available. But I always feel that this story is over, you know? My past doesn’t belong to me, I live today”, said Fabiula Nascimento, adding that talking about it also affects other people. “I wouldn’t just talk about my experience, it involves my brother, my mother, it involves him who is my father, it involves this nucleus. And they have nothing to do with my profession, the decisions I made in my life”, he said.