We come into the world with a biological family, but there is another cycle that we consciously create throughout our lives. It is formed Friends whom we choose as traveling companions, they are ours spiritual circleOur security network.
There is one on the Japanese island of Okinawa and the Kagoshima Peninsula. The tradition is called ‘moi’, This is an informal group people with similar interests who help each other,
Moi, Spiritual Circle of Solidarity
in our book ikigai (Urano Publishing House), co-written with Héctor García, We were talking about this institution that has its origins in the times of famine, when farmers would gather and fight with each other if the harvest was not good that year. Used to help. In today’s Japan, these circles of solidarity still exist They meet weekly to chat, play games and celebrate birthdaysbut also for solve problems Of any member. To become a member, you have to pay a small monthly amount and, when someone in the circle has difficulties, they are helped from the group’s savings.
Anyone who belongs to ‘Moi’ knows that he has the support of the group And he is sure that they will not let him fall. At the opposite extreme are those who feel alone and forgotten.
Also, being part of Moi makes you Responsible for the well-being and happiness of others,
This gives a person a deeper purpose. Deep down, everyone wants to contribute to society, to be important to others.
,Treat everyone as if they are your brother, even if you meet them for the first time» says a beautiful Okinawan expression. And not just to take care of others. By establishing fraternal relations, We are boosting our mental and spiritual well-being,
solidarity that leaves a mark
almost everyone has seen Life is beautiful!A film released in 1946 by Frank Capra, in which a man who has given up all his dreams to serve others decides to commit suicide on Christmas Eve. As he is about to jump into a frozen river, an angel shows him what life in his community would be like if he did not exist.
beyond ego, Help is a deeply human impulse, We want to leave a positive impression the day we leave. About this, there is a song by the young Catalan artist Magali Sarre, translated into Spanish: «We come to this world to live / But the best thing that can happen to you / Is that when you come they laugh / And when you go they cry,
This is a beautiful goal; However, What happens when a person doesn’t have the ability to bond? How can you start building your spiritual circle?
Is your spiritual circle good?
There is a way to know why someone has no friends while another has a wide circle: you just have to look at what one does and what the other doesn’t. It’s not a matter of luck, The quality of our friendships directly depends on our quality as friends., Some questions that can help us in this investigation:
- When someone tells me a problem, I tell i listen carefully enough, without stopping or evaluating it? Then do I ask her questions about what she told me so I can dig deeper into what her concerns are?
- Am I kind to people? Without asking for anything in return?
- Is my tone generally friendly and optimistic? Or, on the contrary, do I criticize and complain?
- If someone told me a project or dream, would they do it encouragement and empowerment To accomplish this? Or should I try to persuade him to abandon his views?
- Do I like organizing fun or useful things? For everyone else?
Anyone who can answer positively to most of these questions will undoubtedly be greatly appreciated. We can summarize it in one sentence: The key to good relationships is to make others feel good,
Keys to Building a Good Spiritual Circle
The most influential book ever written on this subject has been published by Dale Carnegie In 1936, how to Win Friends and Influence People, The son of a poor farmer, he used to wake up at three in the morning to milk the cow before going to school. To help his family, he would later sell correspondence courses to cattlemen and become a bacon, soap and butter salesman.
Work experience taught Dale Carnegie Importance of establishing good relationships, We can summarize his method, which is still being published eight decades later, in three points:
- take a genuine interest in others, In the words of Carnegie, “To be interesting, you have to be interested, One does not become popular by talking about oneself, even if people listen respectfully. it on that Get others talking about you When the person earns your appreciation.
- Do not criticize, condemn or complain about anything, It may attract attention once, but people often shy away from negative profiles. For this reason, it is always necessary to demonstrate Respecting other people’s opinions And don’t try to tell anyone they are wrong.
- Praise other people’s progress, Given that every person’s desire is to feel recognized, if we make them feel important with our comments – and, moreover, we think this is the case – we will regain their respect.
These keys only make sense if one a genuine desire to connect with others And create something bigger than yourself.
spiritual circle for seniors
Japanese moai are increasingly being adopted in the West Groups of older people who want to enjoy mutual companionship In the last years of his life. In Europe and America they are creating group of friends buying property To manage your daily life together. Everything is decided collaboratively for the good of the group rather than being a client of an external organization. This gives senior citizens a sense of control over their lives. Some of these moai have found their place in an ancient monastery, others have chosen clusters of rural houses to live in harmony with nature.
These projects are no longer a utopia and we will see them increase in the coming years. As Yoko Ono said: «The dream you see alone is just a dream. OrThe dream we dreamed together is now a reality.,
Friends, something better and very good
,One who has fifty friends has fifty headaches, This aphorism points towards a great truth. The greater the emotional focus, the less clarity and depth, Businessman Jim Rohn made this phrase famous “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with., We end up looking like the people we hang out withSo it is important to know how to choose.
But what is friend? This term has been destroyed by social networks, where it takes only one click to become another “friend” among hundreds or thousands of strangers. In fact, etymological friends come from loveAnd we can only love someone we really know.
A spiritual circle with purpose
Among friends, we can Create your own moai based on interest or purpose General: An artistic passion – cinema, books, exhibitions –, a philanthropic project or a certain vision of the world. Together we are so much more.
Nutritious relationships are those based on freedom to give and receive, always looking for a certain balance. When the bond turns into demands, compensation, and disdain, it becomes toxic. Benjamin Franklin said that “A brother may not be a friend, but a friend will always be a brother, By this he was talking about the generosity and natural sympathy that arises between souls who decide to become brothers.