Being happy with yourself and others is the most important objective

January: New year, counter to zero and the best intentions. Now I’m going to the gym, I want to eat healthy, I’ll become more organized, I’ll learn English… Everything we chose as a goal is not necessarily that great. practice kindnessAccording to RAE, “the natural inclination to do good” and “the kindness of one person towards another”. Various research confirms that betting on kindness in our daily lives has positive results on our brain and our general state of health. Furthermore, it contributes to the formation of greater social bonds. stable and positive,

“Kindness is what makes us Happy And that is what really gives meaning to our lives, as Viktor E. Frankl wrote after going through a concentration camp. And not only that, a good person is someone we would like to be remembered as. “My dear friend, the psycho-oncologist Ainhoa ​​Videgain, was explained the same way by all her patients in the last days of her life,” she says. jose luis bimbela pedrola (Barcelona, ​​November 6, 1956), author of practical and revolutionary goodness (Ed. Desclí de Brouwer) and Professor at the Andalusian School of Public Health in Granada, with a PhD in Psychology and a Master in Drug Addiction from the University of Barcelona.

This conversation with Videgain was actually his inspiration for writing this issue, after neither the Russian invasion of Ukraine nor the surprise attack by Hamas had triggered a war between Israel and Gaza. “Today, in 2024, it will also more necessary“, he explains. “I decide, I execute, I train, I infect. By deciding to choose goodness as your purpose, you will win, your environment will win, and society as a whole will win.” And he warns: “But, once you make the bet, act And convert it into behavior through habit and discipline so that one does not give up after two days and the cycle of gym and English is repeated again.

lifestyle

Should we strive to be a good person in an individualistic and selfish context? “Of course you have to work hard! Let him do it.” man aspires to goodness This is something we already knew and behavioral science, anthropology and neuropsychology, are reinforcing that idea.” As a public health worker for 30 years, she is a staunch defender that prevention is better than cure. “We can’t keep leaving additional damage and then try to leave that good memory as a father, as a son, as a friend to my friends, as a life partner… .You have to incorporate it into your daily life and work on it consistently,” he defends.

He gives an example of Cabin depressurization. “On the airplane, before you take care of the person next to you, it is important that you put on your own mask. The same happens in society: with me I is the most immediate level of salvation, with me I comes later , then we and we. This order is important.” Recall the phase of the coronavirus crisis, when personal responsibility for not infecting others was important. Have we already forgotten that ‘we will come out better’?

“As a group, as a species, we were threatened by the pandemic. Faced with it, we turned to what was most urgent. In danger, we came together to survive. Once the most serious thing was over , then we forgot.” You’re never better than magic, he insists: “Only If you decide and if you do it, It’s as if when you are healthy, you live without thinking about the disease, and it is only when your health declines that you notice it.”

emotional gymnastics

Challenges like climate change, rising mental health problems, global crises… depict a reality fear and uncertainty They prevent us from connecting with other people. For this reason, Bimbela encourages the training of kindness like exercise, so that it does not have to be sacrificed and becomes a joy.

“This is a very difficult moment in which we walk like sheep without seeing welfare goal for all, “The studies I reviewed and cited in the book say that altruistic behavior increases oxytocin and reduces cortisol, the stress hormone.”

This chronic pain sufferer has improved his quality of life through some care like healthy eating and exercise. That’s why he emphasizes that “recent studies also link acts of kindness Reduction of inflammatory processes,

Other than this greater physical healthIn the emotional part that kindness provides, the Greek philosopher Epictetus is quoted: “The most relevant thing is not what happens, but how I interpret what happens to me. This is what makes us a person.” “It gives us the strength to face a situation that we may see in a more pessimistic and destructive way.”

In social health, it relies on the famous 6 acts of communication 6: “Ask, Listen, Sympathy, resume, reinforce and provide feedback. In the area of ​​kindness they create relationships of respect and mutual trust.” A very important aspect in the face of social polarization, the word of the year. “You see many conversations in which you are not listening, but instead you are thinking about “We have to ask to understand others’ feelings or reasons, even if we don’t share them,” the expert reflects.

As for the spiritual dimension, it is related to the meaning of life and is not necessarily based on any religion. eudaimoniaHe state of satisfaction This is usually due to one’s position in life, not because of more hedonistic pleasures such as sex, food or money. “You have to find some vocation or meaning to be happy.” You don’t need to have excessive ambition. “A reason to get up every morning” is enough.

Finally, talk about maintaining kind behavior over time moral health, “This is the strategy that is discussed in business schools and we have all heard at one time or another: profitable deal Or win-win. It was already in the Bible that ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ No one can be so good that they seem foolish, it is not about being a martyr, but about understanding that goodness is for everyone. “To give the best to others, you must first take care of yourself.”

Kindness and social networks

Why do we look like worse people on social networks like X, where everyone looks angry? In the book, the author first chooses to ask us if we are going contribute something With our comments, instead of saying things we would never say to their face. “Before you do something you have to measure the consequences, not just when you are going to offend, which is the most obvious because it already involves the intention to harm the other. There are times when our intention is to hurt. There is no harm in harming someone but we can harm someone and we must assess it before taking action.”

let’s talk about bimbela selfie Practical. This involves creating a picture with your own diagnosis. “A snapshot of the behavior we want to change to implement kind behavior Before wishing to change others.

This refers to the fact that we are too prone to telling our children or our partners how they should behave and be, he criticizes, without doing a self-scan first. He concluded, “By this we will know what is worth more to us and what is less, so that it is not all a betrayal of the sun.” because if we want change the world We have to start from ourselves and with small steps.