Is it possible to heal the wound of abandonment? – Health and Wellness

Healing childhood wounds is not an easy or straightforward path. However, by building greater self-confidence and reevaluating loneliness, significant progress can be made in this healing process.

Healing from the wound of abandonment is like embarking on a journey of self-discovery. There is no magic formula, but the possibility of healing is real. It’s a process that involves accepting your feelings, challenging limiting beliefs, and breaking dysfunctional patterns.

During this reading, we will explore the origins of this emotional experience, identify signs to detect it, and offer psychological recommendations to prevent it from wreaking havoc on adult life.

,What is the wound of abandonment?
This is one of the childhood injuries studied by Lisa Bordeaux; It manifests itself as scars resulting from one or several intense or traumatic childhood experiences. These are situations for which, due to their heavy burden, we have not been able to prepare adequately.

Although they have their origins in childhood, they accompany us beyond that. Having a painful emotional experience is tantamount to suffering an injury to the soul. It is a deep emotional wound that persists over time and affects the decisions we make in adulthood, often resulting in negative consequences for us.

In the case of harm caused by abandonment, it arises when a child feels that he has been abandoned or neglected, whether at the physical or emotional level. It is important to note that this may be related to actual and objective abandonment or may be the product of subjective interpretation.

Symptoms of Abandonment in Childhood
Although each person who experienced emotional neglect in childhood is unique, it is common for them to share patterns in response to this experience that last into adulthood. They are individuals who generally show symptoms such as the following:

A bond of emotional dependence develops between them.
They seek extreme external approval.
They experience self-esteem and confidence problems.
They feel deep helplessness and worthlessness.
They leave personal projects prematurely.
They show distrust and difficulty opening up emotionally with others.
They sabotage their relationships for no apparent reason, out of fear of feeling the pain of abandonment.
They show self-destructive tendencies, sabotaging their own chances for success or happiness.
They tend to be overly accommodating to others and have difficulty setting boundaries, even at the expense of their own well-being.

Consequences of Emotional Abandonment: The Mask of Dependency
According to a work published in Revista de Psicologia, if someone experiences this emotional wound, it results in a change in their efficacy and it is likely that they will grow up thinking that they are not worthy or not worthy of love. Are. This leads to feeling insecure and tendencies like abandonment anxiety develop.

Following Bourdieu’s ideas, people create a “mask” in response to each emotional wound, with the intention of protecting themselves should that wound resurface in the present. However, that security is an illusion.

The mask of those who suffer the wound of abandonment is emotional dependence. Since their greatest fear is loneliness, they cling to others to avoid the pain of abandonment. However, despite their efforts, they never feel like they get enough love or attention, leading to an unfulfilled emotional need and increasing dependency.

,How to heal the wound of abandonment?
Dealing with the aftermath of abandonment isn’t easy, but it’s not impossible either. To begin with, it is important to understand that this does not mean erasing your past, but rather preventing it from continuing to influence you. It is important that you allow yourself to feel without criticizing or blaming yourself. The rule here is to be your own ally, not your own worst critic.

Without a doubt: You need to see clearly the fears that lurk in the shadows and challenge the beliefs that perhaps hold you back. Let’s look at some psychological strategies that can help you in this process.

1. Become aware and accept the wound
The path to healing begins with awareness. Recognizing the wound as part of your story can be challenging and painful. However, it is also a necessary step in recovery.

It’s not about defining yourself by it or believing that it will determine your future, rather, it means understanding that by taking charge, you have the power to influence how it affects your life. does and how to work on improving it.

2. strengthen confidence
It is important to develop and increase self-confidence to counteract the effects of the wound of abandonment. When you understand that your value does not depend on what others think of you, but on your own perception, everything changes.

In this sense, working on recognizing your personal strengths and achievements will help you build a solid foundation for your self-esteem, thereby reducing sensitivity to the fear of emotional abandonment.

3. Cultivate independence
Being independent doesn’t mean isolating yourself from people or always managing alone. Rather, it means being able to make decisions without being completely dependent on others. The key is to strike a balance between being self-reliant and knowing how to ask for help when you need it.

4, Get over the fear of saying “no”
How often do you ignore your own needs so as not to make others uncomfortable? How often do you ignore your own desires in favor of those of others?

One of the strategies you should consider to improve emotional abandonment is to start setting boundaries in your relationships. By firmly communicating what you want and need, you take important steps toward building a more equitable and satisfying relationship.

5. Reevaluate loneliness
Learning to enjoy alone moments can change the perception of loneliness, turning it into an enriching experience or, at least, something that is not as devastating as it may seem.

When you’re able to enjoy your own company, you don’t have to cling to people or situations to avoid feeling alone. It is not necessary to isolate yourself and separate from the world. Reevaluating loneliness involves stopping seeing it as a terrible monster.

Importance of therapy to the healing process
It is undeniable that psychotherapy plays a very important role in healing emotional wounds. There are several clinical approaches that are valuable in these circumstances, such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), and EMDR therapy, which is recognized for its effectiveness in treating trauma.

Regardless of the type of approach, a competent and trained psychologist provides a safe space to explore how the wound of abandonment affects you and provides specific tools to face the challenges associated with it.

You don’t have to walk this path alone. If you feel it necessary, seek help from a therapist and take the opportunity to express your feelings, fears and thoughts openly.
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