Benefits of remaining silent EL PAÍS WEEKLY: Psychology and well-being

We live in a world of constant noise, more so than in any other age known to humanity. Since social networks have multiplied the means of communication, our daily life is a constant bombardment. While our cell phone sends us to push In the latest news, through other applications we receive opinions from Twitter, notifications from Instagram and other networks, not to mention those scary WhatsApp groups that constantly fire words and memes. On the way to work, there are also people who listen to their favorite program without headphones in the subway, until two rappers enter and, after turning on the music system at full volume, improvise songs about passengers. Let’s start. Once in the office, the murmur of coworkers’ conversations is the soundtrack of the day. Noise, noise and more noise. It is as if silence has been relocated to monasteries, or it is a dangerous black hole that must be filled with anything before it swallows us.

Essay keep quietWritten by journalist Dan Lyons, it begins with the following question: “Do we need all the people on this planet to express all their opinions about everything happening at the same time?” The quote is from youtuber Bo Burnham, and anticipates the book’s thesis: Precisely because we live amidst constant noise, shutting our mouths is a remedy that is as generous and timely as it is therapeutic in its own right. Lyons assures that learning to keep quiet helps us progress professionally, because in addition to the health benefits, we are less likely to mess up. Without a doubt, trying to deliver your message amidst the chaos of people who want the same thing is extremely stressful as well as frustrating. Many times, the person who deserves the most credit is the one who keeps his distance from controversies or battles for attention. This is consistent with the two keys to the Machiavellian-inspired book published in 1998 by Robert Greene: 48 rules of power,

The fourth is to always say less than necessary, and he justifies it like this: “Be aware that the more you say, the more vulnerable you will be and the less control you will have over the situation (…) Powerful people influence And scare them because of their stinginess. The more you talk, the greater the risk of saying something stupid.”

The 16th uses absence to increase respect and honor, anticipating the madness created by social networks by several years, and says: “Too much supply drives down the price: the more you will be seen and heard, The less other people will understand you (…) A temporary distance will make them talk about you more and even admire you (…) Remember that scarcity creates value.

These two recommendations run counter to the basic principles of what millions of people do on the network: encourage people to look and listen to each other, even if it’s just for a few seconds. reel, Green’s proposal is the exact opposite. In a world full of noise, the most interesting person is the one who is silent, because silence gives us mystery, which is the key ingredient of seduction.

Since we are no longer used to silence, let’s return to Dan Lyons’s recent book, which proposes five paths:

Whenever possible, say nothing at all. Unless, as a Japanese saying goes, your words are better than silence. In the words of the author of keep quiet: “You’ve got to be Dirty Harry, not Jim Carrey.”

Find the breaking force, Great speakers are known for how they handle silence. Pause for two seconds before or after you speak, breathe, let the other person process what you said. A silence in time is worth a thousand words.

Leave social media. Most platforms are designed to be addictive. If you can’t give them up completely because of your work, at least limit their use.

Seek silence. “Information overload drives us into a state of constant stimulation and overstimulation, which causes health problems and can even shorten our lives,” says Lyons. Give your brain a break with silence.

Learn to listen. This is a very productive way to remain silent, but it requires active effort. It involves taking in all five senses of what the other is saying, without any judgment or mental chatter. Plus, as the author points out: “Nothing makes people happier than feeling like they’ve been truly heard and seen.”

When we’re able to keep our mouths shut, what happens next is incredible, says Lyons, because we’ll feel calmer, less anxious, and more in control of our lives.

pay attention!

-in his book value of attentionBritish popularizer Johann Hari explains that our ability to concentrate has entered a deep crisis. According to recent studies, a teenager can concentrate on a task for an average of only 65 seconds, while an adult’s attention span does not exceed three minutes.

-The key to fixing this is to understand that the human brain is not made for multitasking. An MIT professor told the author, “We are very single-minded.” To regain focus we need to “turn off” distractions and do one thing at a time.

Francesc Miralles is a writer and journalist who specializes in psychology.

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